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AmbiguousI see myself clearly, the picture perfect girl
Standing there so smoothly and full of wit
Her smile is clearly fake, just a curve of plumb lips
The light in her eyes is barely even lit
It's amusing to watch how she thinks she fools me
As if I couldn't see her vulnerable soul through that mask
She seems to believe I'm buying this cheap act
The truth is transparent, she should know that
She stands there so very high and straight
Taking a few moments to fix her already flat hair
It's amazing the peace she seems to convey
While inside her storms won't seem to quell
I can see it plainly, her perfection disappears
As the girl across the surface coldly smirks
It's amusing to watch her arm begin to rise
A picture perfect gun firmly on her grasp
It's a ruined perfection that struggles to keep up the act
Since it's evident that this fake parade is losing the war
Got herself in a mess out of which she can't back track
I can see the fear clearly written on her shattered mas
SilencioIn the moments of anguish
In the moments of pain
My heart grows silent
Mute with despair
In the moments of hardships
In the moments of trials
My lips are Sealed
And my voice disappears
Because in my worst moments
Because in my darkest moments
My heart is tightly clenched
My emotions in disarray
In such state thus, I cannot speak
Since no one will understand what's happening to me
In such moments thus, I stay mum
Since I can't do anything till I get rid of the hurt
I'll speak up when I regain control
When my emotions are held in check
Then I will surely retell, Everything I felt
When the hurt was unbearable, overflowing in my chest
Till then my voice you will not hear
Till then my inner battle your eyes wont see
Since my lips are sealed and my heart clenched
And my emotions in a current disarray
Since You've Been GoneEver since you left me, every single gray cloud vanished.
Rainy days I knew, are no more.
Not a single tear has said hello.
Ever since you vanished, my life has been better.
I can finally laugh, knowing I won't belong to you ever.
I met my freedom, at the door you slammed close.
I invited it in, on the very doorstep you cursed.
Ever since you disappeared, I've learnt to live.
My days are brighter, my smile is genuine.
I have no need of masks or fake parades.
The fear that ruled me, went away when you left.
Now you're just a shadow, a dark red blotch on my past.
A mistake I drearily regret, that I'm struggling to forget.
Yet, I sometimes ask myself if I'd be the same
If you hadn't happened along
If you hadn't stumbled, crashes, tripped into my life
Would I be the woman that I am now?
So I guess I'd thank you,
For finding me somewhere along the way
So I guess I'm grateful,
It was my heart that had to break
Now falling, I learn how to rise
Now losing, I win for the first time
And that mis
Flawless SimplicityIt was all very simple.
A blond Little Girl
A blond Little Boy
He was five
She was four
His Eyes were Brown
Hers were Blue
He Was Shy
She had a sweet-tooth
They Didn't know each other
It was just another Summer
But they say an Angel's smile creates a whole new World
And from that moment, that Angel became His all
The innocence was never lost
A hand Always outstretched offering love and comfort
A promise, I'll never let You fall
A vow, I'll wipe your tears every time you cry
With the Hope, of seeing each other the next day
And the fear that even Summer must come to an end
But the sun shone brighter that month
As her hand was held securely within his own
Childish Love, they say it never lasts
But every Summer they prove that theory is flawed.
CinderellaI'm Cinderella tonight
When the clock strikes twelve
I must go and leave you behind
Twenty four minutes left
Just enough time for one last song
One last dance
One more time to be held in your arms
I'm Cinderella tonight
And in a couple of minutes I'll run out
But we've got one last chance
To the rhythm of the falling rain
Under this gray skies
I'm Cinderella tonight
And with just seventeen minutes left
I'm cradled in your arms
Under the falling rain
I'm Cinderella tonight
And I'm dancing under gray skies
My prince holds me tight
We sway softly from side to side
Waiting for the last minutes to pass by
I'm Cinderella tonight
And at twelve am I must leave you behind
Will You Ever...?Do you love me?
Simple question, complex answer
Don't give me measure
Don't give me quantity
All I need is a straight answer
I want depth, not length
Truth, not a bunch of well constructed lies
I want an explanation
Of what you feel on your heart
I want it bare
I want it raw
So look me in the eyes
And answer me
Do you love me?
Your maddening insensibility
A cover-up mask
Hiding from my view
A heart that over flows with love and desire
Yet, I don't know
If I'm the recipient of that love
You hang me around your neck
For the whole world to see
And I still wonder, is that love for me?
How hard Is it to tell me?
How hard is it to show me?
How will I know if you really love me?
If I ask you to be there for me
Tell me, am I asking too much?
If I ask you for understanding
Will it sound too demanding?
Why do you stay mum?
Why not tell me what's wrong?
Is it just me, your own flesh and blood
If even from me you conceal it
Then, who do you trust?
Is it that im not enough?
Is it that in your eyes
But only if you need too
But just if it'll help you forget
To drown all this pain
When I turn away
But don't let me hear you
But don't break my heart
If you'll let me go
Because it'll hurt
If all you can do is watch
If you wish you could have fought
If it's hard to hold on to hope
If the future is no longer ours
If you will never again love
But only for those things you did wrong
For our broken dreams
If all you want to do is forget
For our fractured promises
Like you won't do when you watch me leave
Darling just cry
MyLoveMy love, she doesn't deserve you
My love, she'll never understand you
My darling dearest, forgive me
I should've been better
I should've been present
I should've been the one to fix your heart
I should've been the one who your tears dried
My lips were suppose to hold the truth
That her poisonous tongue kept from you
My shoulder was supposed to keep the tears
That her bosom did nothing to prevent
My love, she will just hurt you
My love, she will just corrupt you
My darling dearest, don't be a fool
Open your eyes and embrace the truth
I should've been stronger
Yet I showed you just how weak I can be
I should've held on to hope
Yet you saw just how easily I give in
I should've believed
Yet you know where I chose to seek for peace
But I still beg, I still implore
A second chance is all I ask for
She is no better, don't wait to see
She will only crush you and watch you bleed
She will not care for you
None will do the way I did
Don't try to discover it by your own means
Your FantasiaThe sky's blackening
And I can't help but wonder
Do you love me now?
Do you love me still?
I went to the edge of this flat world,
And fell down and over just for you
I turned the earth upside down,
So your feet could be planted firmly on the clouds
I went to the crumbling atmosphere,
And patched the holes with a simple bubble gum
I cried a whole new ocean and poured sugar in,
So you could swim and your eyes wouldn't sting
I overthrew every single throne,
So yours could be the only existing kingdom
I made a road in the clouds down here,
So you could touch every skyscraper's tip
I changed the seasons and the weather,
So you could live in an eternal September
I made wrong be right and darkness be light,
To shield you from your real and painful life
I made your dreams become sweet as ice-cream,
So you could always laugh in your sleep
I made gold lose its worth,
So your smile would mean the world for whoever earned it
I made the universe measure your happiness,
So it would be just as infini
Well Darn, There Goes My PlanFunny this life we live, there is so much more to see.
The heavens above, filled with no love,
The moon in the sky, larger then you or I.
Can't you see it, the size of it all?
We are ants infesting a house,
A flea eating a mouse.
Where will we be in a few hundred years?
Will we be in tiny boxes living useless fears?
Will we be in the ground, never to be found?
Will you be remembered, for who you use to be?
Perhaps by a few, but never truly by me,
For how am I to know, someone I've never seen?
Time has flown by, it's to late for you and me.
Why do you live, when time will soon blink,
and you will be gone, faster then you think?
Broken TrustTrust is something fragile
Once you break it
It is hard to get back again
Just like the softest rose petals
That withers and dies
Or the stem of that gentle rose
Once it snaps you can
Never get it back
You sit there and watch it
Then you look at that person
With jaded eyes
Looking at them
With the emptiness you feel inside
Knowing it will never be the same
Wondering if you truly knew
Them at all
Hidden LinesTorn apart and filled with lines,
Words unspoken are hatefully tried.
Burned at the bud,
Stop at the start.
Grievously misled from the beginning,
Broken and killed from the mere heeding.
Paper strewn across the floor,
The only love they've ever boor.
Here sit's a man in anger,
Lost is he in pain.
He tried to hide in the beginning,
Now all he is, is insane.
He wrote these hateful lines,
And just as they, he lies.
Never right, never perfect,
Always lost, forever hidden.
why can't i right one good poem?
DepressionAnother useless morning dawns,
Another tiresome creature yawns.
Lost I am in the depth of thought,
People can't see the battle I've fought.
My scars are hidden by a harden face,
No smile has been found, I have no grace.
I look upon the work I've done,
And find that it is helpful to all of none.
I hate the flesh I'm bound to,
The words I weave I do but rue.
Rueful and spiteful I wish to cry,
But no tears will help me on the inside.
Who will help me to live without pain?
Will anyone try to keep me sane?
Am I lost to the grave?
Just Another DayJust another Day
I try not to cry, though my eyes burn,
Fighting for air, as my chest tightens up,
Needing to scream, yet nothing comes out,
I ache inside, but I don't complain,
It's just another day, of my life,
So what is left to say?
Now I shall end this, morbid poem,
Crawling back into my shell,
And get my emotions under control,
I will look at you, once more with a smile,
So you won't see all that I hide inside,
370I'm begging for my dreams on fractured, bloody knees.
Praying without belief to a God with no relief.
I've given all my time, and I think I've lost my mind.
You think me a disgrace as you spit in my face,
Teasing me with hope and feeding me only soap.
But I can finely see, there's nothing left for me,
Someone will take my place, I'm the last in this race.
StayTattered clips of sunny smiles
strewn about throughout the aisles,
tipped and spilled to much dismay
those memories of yesterday.
Volunteered upon this path
oblivious to the aftermath,
the possibility it seemed
of failure was an absurd dream.
Torn from the ground we built upon
moonlight burned the summer song,
undermined the very heart
of the bedrock where we saw it start.
Winter caused the soul to say
an audible wish for a different day,
Without the strength to go away
it's come to this so here we stay.
I would've been.I would've been a masterpiece if it wasn't for the tear,
I don't know why I tell you this, it's not like you care.
I would've been a legend if it wasn't for the time,
Age of heroes has come and gone, all I can do now is rhyme.
I would've made something of myself, if I'd had the motivation,
But now, I just lie in wait, awaiting even more degradation.
I could've been someone, or something, I know I could,
But right now, it's all talk, all "Could, should, would."
Then there's that "if" or that "but" getting in the way,
I could've been a masterpiece, but here I am, rotting away.
No one even gives me a second glance,
I'm not a famous one like Rembrandt's.
I could've been a masterpiece if it wasn't for the tear,
If only the people looking after me had taken more care,
I could've been perfect, and remembered forever,
But now I am just a portrait, of the Forgotten Reaper.
There is no place for me.There is no place for my ideals or me,
There is no place for justice or mercy.
There is no place for true love anymore,
It's a sad truth, it saddens me at the core.
There is no place for me in this world,
Where the cries of the needy must go unheard.
I'm cast out for my ideals, my gentleman's code,
Well, I was born like this, a man in hero mode.
There is no place for a hero in this world,
The knight in shining armour must go unheard.
There is no such thing as a Fairy Tale,
I am not Prince Charming, just another sail.
On a boat afloat on a sea of sadness,
The winds of mourning passing through me.
There is nowhere in this world for me...
There is nowhere in this world for gallantry.
SoledadI hope you know
That this is not funny
And that I'm breaking
I hope you are aware
Of how unfair this is
That I'm in so much misery
It hurts to even breathe
What were you thinking?
That you could disappear
And I wouldn't feel a thing?
Well I'm dying
Just so you know
You can't expect me to be fine
As I don't expect you to show up
Though that won't change the fact
That your disappearance hurts
Nobody wipes my tears
No one chases my doubts away
But even worse than that
No one holds me tight
Saying everything will be alright
What will become of me?
If I take a pencil,
It writes your name
As if it had a will of its own
If I go to sleep,
My mind summons your face
And you dance in my thoughts
For the rest of the day
Everything just everything
Reminds me of you
I can't keep living this way
Loving, Missing, Wanting You
All Here For A ReasonI turned onto a shady, well-manicured driveway that, for all intents and purposes, looked harmless enough. Maple trees lined both sides of the street, and a parade of Canadian geese marched across the road to a wide duck pond with a flamboyant fountain. There were blooming crepe myrtles and rose-of-sharons, and as I grew closer to my destination, neatly trimmed gardens with neatly trimmed bushes.
I stopped to let the geese pass. They looked at me; one hissed. I honked my horn and moved around them.
At the end of the road sat a collection of grayish buildings and a number of signs directing me to the appropriate parking lot. "Welcome to Ten Creeks Hospital," said one of them. "Please enjoy your stay." I parked in the visitor's lot. Surely I wouldn't be staying.
I was shaking when I got out of my car. I had spent the morning getting high. One foot in front of the other, flip-flop noises, hot sidewalk. Mulberry and magnolia trees, freshly shaved grass. A bench and pan for smokers. A set o
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